Love begins at forty

I got new shoes. Black high heeled beauty but they were hell to walk with especially in a place where it seemed every one was watching you I was putting all my energy into putting one leg in front of the other when he stopped beside me

“Hello where are you going?” he said in a northern accent characteristic of the military heads of states.

“Ikoyi “

“Is it okay if I drop you?”

I looked again –fine; most probably a Muslim; polite and oooh nice cool black jeep plus he waas coming out of my estate of abode. This time there were no flashes all I saw was someone willing to rescue my feet so I hopped in. This ride was a lot different from the others he did most of the talking

“I’m Babangida retired air force officer; I now run imports and export services at Apapa”

Hmmm nice resume, and no questions even better

“How early do you leave for work?”

“About 9 a.m”

“Would you mind if I drop you off from time to time? I leave at that time too”

Even better! “no problem thanks”

We exchanged numbers and he dropped me off at work.

The routine continued for a week during which I confirmed he was a Muslim and that he was into me not for chewing on my nipples but for a long term thing. According to him he had tried to get my attention about a year now (well what do you know he waas on my snob list). We talked day and night about  a lot of things even the possibility of me or rather us moving to Kaduna he wanted to know my family I was comfortable until my sister and Lade asked “are you sure he’s not married?” and all I could think was this is gonna be dang unfunny if he is. Not knowing how to ask I resorted to text chatting.

Message sent

Hi I’m Yasmin Tukur single fifth child out of six;

23 years old serving at the   mayors hospital tell me about you

Message received Babangida

Good morning I’m Babangida Babagana

forty three years old married with 3 children two girls one boy.

Merde!

Bye bye baby...

Message received Dimeji

Hey how u dey

abeg do u know any drug or method

other than D&C that can be used for abortion

the person is rather far and she has been disturbing me

I was transferred to the anti natal clinic but for some reason my ex Dimeji thought it was abortion clinic.  What made the message even harder to stomach was what had happened barely weeks earlier….

Buzor came into work and told me the pregnancy test was a false positive and Mark and she were trying to work things out. She was full of stories of how he begged and how he had changed and it took a lot of strength to prevent me from knocking her back into her senses.

Days later she was at my side saying “this thing is still there oh”

“What thing” a rather confused me wondered

“The baby now!”

My eyebrows raised and she explained that she had taken drugs that were commonly used for abortions.

I had no words

“Have you thought of keeping it you know that could just be your best option now” okay my mouth did that all on its own, I had nothing to do with.

“His business is just starting off and I don’t have enough money either so really we definitely can’t support a baby right now”

I gave no opinion and we went through the day rather silently.

All baby talk was forgotten until the next day when she mentioned a friend wanted to take her to a place where she’d be injected and after three days every thin would be over. My mind flashed the different movies with girls going for procedures and dying on the table and immediately I made my case about how dangerous it would be and all. Guess it won’t surprise you to know it didn’t work, again!

The procedure was meant to be followed by profuse bleeding she bled in trickles and after a few days morning sickness began. A very determined baby I thought. at this point she asked that I pooled my sources too so I called Dimeji.

“Hey do you know any drugs that can be used for abortion two months old baby”

Pause…….

“I’m not the pregnant one it’s a friend”

“I would kill you”

Just as I thought

“Seriously its not me”

“You’re sure?”

“Wallahi its not me”

“Well her best bet is a D&C it’s a bit farther along most drugs I know of work only for one month or few days after sex”

“Okay thanks I guess we’ll talk later”

Pause………

“You’re sure its not you”

This is fun

“Yeah I promise”

With that the conversation ended

Buzor could make out from my end of the conversation that we were no closer to finding out any solution other than keeping the baby than we were before.

Dimeji called later at night and gave me a thorough scolding

“what the hell are you thinking getting involved in someone’s abortion case. Don’t you know if anything happens to that girl you are going to be called to answer. Lay off this case”

I saw reason with what he was saying and tried to lay off the issue I was no longer giving an opinion but really can I be blamed for the actions of an adult who happened to be older than me

Desperate situations call for desperate moves time was ticking and baby was growing and Mark was suddenly mysteriously missing (not that I was surprised). She heard of the use of Schweppes and started gulping it by the number nothing happened. Next she went for a D&C and the quack said no; we still wonder what he saw.

She gave up trying for a while and I thought I would be an aunty soon until this happened:

“I was gisting with the nurse at anti natal and she said Chelsea gin and aloevera work. You just have to take them all at once and you’ll get results. What do you think?”

Apparently what I thought was still not clear.

 “I think I’m gonna try it when I get home”

Then again she realised she didn’t want to hear it but still went ahead to load me with information I didn’t want to have. 

We both went to our homes and the next day which happened to be a work free day for me I received a text message of gratitude telling me how much of a great friend I was. It sounded a lot like a deathbed proclamation and so not like what Buzor would send after that her phone was off for days only for me to get  four days later that she was on admission in another hospital apparently passed out from the concoction she drank. She barely came out with her life and her baby’s- It didn’t work.

First day back at work, she was back to baby obsessing again only this time she decided to go for a scan to confirm what she was really dealing with. The scan was done at our place of work and the baby or rather what was left of it was closer to dead than alive with different parts chopped off already. With the scan image it was obvious an abortion was in evitable.

My friend invited me to come take a closer look at the foetus and I looked at her and wondered how she could be so cool and nonchalant about the whole thing I couldn’t find an answer. She was given a drug and advised to go home. Three hours later she called to tell me she bled the whole thing out and in her voice I heard relief.

The death of the baby marked the death of her relationship with Mark.

Suddenly a boyfriend snatcher

Chibuzor had this very good relationship with my phones and my hand bag. She assumed my phones were a free for all don’t pay phone and my bag well it passed for a bank only you don’t have to put money in just take out.

Now the thing about street smart girls is they might seem tough and all but there’s usually the one guy that brings out the softy in them. For Chibuzor it was Mark he was the one guy who made her eyes go all glittery. On this day she was bonding with my phone as usual and flashed him with my phone and asked that I don’t say it’s her if he called.

He called alright asking who I was I feigned ignorance and he saw this as opportunity I blew him off and got off the line. I later told his girlfriend about it. She asked me to play along and I agreed so call him back I did

“Hi” I said

“I thought u wanted nothing more to do with me” he retorted

“Really what do you want from me” I asked and then the story started

“Hey someone called me with your number whom we both don’t know and you seem a nice person so I guessed probably fate just played a number to bring us together”

I consciously put in a lot of effort to make my interest seem real plus I was bored so and he filled in the space.

He claimed to be single an entrepreneur looking for love. He was eager to take me out swimming he said and no I said (probably to check out how I looked in a bathing suit). We finally agreed on double four- at least lets help spend a bit of that money he’s so eager to flaunt.

I gave Chibuzor the update and I had to help her pick her bottom jaw, apparently he never invited her swimming and was the absolute ijebu man when it comes to spending. She gave me the go ahead for the date and ahead I went coming back with package for his girlfriend which according to her he wasn’t supposed to be able to afford.

Two dates later we decided it was time to put an end to the game because I for one was worn out by all the acting. So finally on a day she was supposed to be out of lagos I organised a meeting at my place of primary assignment and he fell for it.

During the lunch meeting Chibuzor walked in under the pretext of coming to get something to eat made a show of not seeing us and then walked out. He saw her and told me she was a family friend (likely excuse) whom he’d rather not say hi to just yet

She walked in a second time and said “Mark what are u doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? As u can see you’re disturbing my lunch please leave”

This was very much not the way I figured it was gonna go. Slightly embarrassed, my friend left.

“That was rather harsh” I said

And he kept his calm told me to ignore the disturbance and please continue with my meal. Few minutes later I excused myself hoping my absence would give them room to sort themselves out. He walked her out a second time and I began wondering if  I was mixing up something. I refused going back claiming something just cropped up and I couldn’t make back. He kept trying my number and I refused to pick up. I sent a text telling him to sort out his issues with his girlfriend because I was done.

Twenty four hours later I was the girl who tried to hoodwink my friend outta her boyfriend. Kissed and made up preferring to aassume I was responsible for the way things turned out. I couldn’t believe Chibuzor could be this soft with any one her excuse? “Its been foreseen that we’re destined to be together”

Hmph! Likely story

Few weeks later I got this:

Message received buzor

I’m so upset I’ve been crying all day Mark

just told me he’s been having an affair with another girl

whats worse is I’m even preg.

She was pregnant with his child and he was cheating on her with a girl called Tamara if that’s her real name amongst others.

As dad reversed mom came flying down wit a bag of snacks for the road. She gave it to me; we said our goodbyes and the journey began. A journey started with fear uncertainty and indecision

How rude of me I didn’t introduce myself I’m Yasmin recently turned eighteen and  right now on my way to my probable school of higher learning……. I mean the university. A part of me wanted this whole admission thing to click and another part keeps screaming “I’m not ready!” as we continued in silence my mind drifted through a lot of things all this of course wasn’t obvious in my expression which was more or less bland . My dad either thought I was worried or just for the sake of conversation said ‘ not to worry you  can always cross over to medicine or even go back for a second degree’ and I thought to myself who’s thinking medicine right now?

The drive to school was about three hours longer and when we finally appeared at the gate in all its glory I thought ‘oh dear 3years ago I never thought this would be going this way’ I swallowed hard and tried not to panic and when I saw my brother I calmed down and wondered what worse could possibly happen. I began feeling comfortable in my skin clad in blue top and skirt but lost almost all bravado when my dad began driving off I had to control the urge to scream “don’t go! Take me with you” and as the car moved out I moved to my brother’s room, my first room on campus in The Obafemi Awolowo University